31st of July

Last day of July already. Time past so fast. Today not feeling well. Don't know why. In the afternoon had headache. After took nap then still the same but now ok already.

This week started to be busy. Tomorrow have my first driving lesson. Don't know what will happen cus recently I feel tired. Sleep early also the same. Take nap also the same. Don't know why.

Assignment, tests, lab assessment, exams going to start. Can't give up now.

Share something with u all. Today when english class we had a group work. Then, one of the group members need to present. I present for my group. After I present then teacher said she knows I am shy. I agree. haha...then she said I am brave. is it true?

10:36pm: Feel suffering and very tired now. Recently many people sick. Hope they will recover soon.

30th of July

Happy. I came back.

10:32pm: 原本我以为我可以开心起来了，可是原来不是。那只是短暂的11个小时。

Practical Assessment

Today had practical assessment for Physics. It was fun but we screamed when teacher said we still got 5 seconds. haha...Luckily we managed to pass up our report on time. glad to be in the same group with u all. Now only realise it is happy to be with u all. Full of laughter.

After had my discussion, then I went to find u all at orange. But I didn't eat. No appetite to eat. Kai ling sick already. She seems like very suffering. Hope she will get well soon. Then, we went to library. After that, we went to class.

Tomorrow oral presentation. Wish us all the best.

Talent time

wow! It was great. I really enjoy it. Many performances like piano performance, guitar performance, flute performance, violin performance, singing performance, dancing performance and last but not least gymanstic performance. Gymnastic performance was the best. It was amazing too.

颖涵，加油！

27th of July

始终还是想写部落格。过了两天了，可是我的心情还是那么低落。这次应该很难恢复吧！一直以来，我以为我的遭遇是最惨的。可是原来不是。有些事实是很残酷的。在别无选择的情况下，也只好接受。你们要加油哦！

Start to be busy from today onwards. 要更坚强。

我会从记忆里消失。 看不到笑容。

23th of July

Today morning my dad suddenly asked me whether I study until very tired. I was like har? why he suddenly asked this de? I looked very tired? I also don't know. Recently suffering for headache until my mind can't think of anything. Luckily today better already.

我变了吗? 思想改变了? 性格改变了？

11.21pm: 她为什么变成这样呢？我不明白，也不了解。我只知道她让我又回到了原点。

22th of July

Happy birthday to my dearest friend, Corine. Wish her all the best and stay pretty.

Really enjoy my break with mokky today. We had never met each other since 24th of last month. Quite a long time ago. Thank you very much for accompany me. We chat while eating. The funny part is when I was telling her about what had happened yesterday. It was all because of my sleepyness. Anyway, suffering for headache for the third day. Nothing much that I can think and say.

Suddenly remembered the worst thing that I knew today. Physics topic test is same day as my piano exam. Omg! Thinking I should study and go for the topic test or not. August will be a busy month.

Just took some facebook quizzes. One is who really understands me?

Guess what is the answer. Maybe it is true.

Another one is why do my friends love me?

The answer is kind. Is it true?

One more is what's my best quality?

Again is kindness. You will lend a helping hand to any friend you think needs it, and to everyone who you have helped they see you as a close friend who they appreciate and ready to return a favor. Your kindness is likely to earn you a reputation and make you the go-to person when your friends seek quality companionship.

Another one is what defines me?

My smart.( I don't think I am smart. ) Your pride yourself on your academics and your ability to learn things quickly. You will definitely succeed in life.

One more is what does my zodiac sign say about me?

Scorpio qualities. passionate, protective, magnetic, energetic, emotional, intense, tenacious, powerful, resourceful, attractive, investigative, diplomatic and courageous.

我的心为什么会那么痛？

现今社会是这样？
社会好像变得越来越乱。。
人为了自己，就要伤害无辜的人吗？
为什么人越来越可怕了呢？
为了利益不择手段而杀死无辜的人，值得吗？
难道一个好人的下场就是这样，让坏人逍遥法外？

在这里希望政府能查出事情的真相， 还赵明福一个清白。
安息。

那一天是新学年，也是小玲和小麦升上中学的第一天。她们来自不同的学校，可是那么巧她们读同一班。缘分让她们遇见和认识对方。由于她们刚来到陌生的环境，又没有旧朋友和她们同校，所以她们就在班上坐在一起。她们开始介绍对方，也聊了起来。小玲是个善良和充满创意的女生， 而小麦是个开朗和勤劳的女生。

过了几个月的相处，她们渐渐变成好朋友。由于她们住在附近，她们就一起上学，一起读书，一起玩乐，一起出去。久而久之，她们变成形影不离的好朋友。无论去到哪里，都可以看到她们时常在一起。

好景不常在。就在她们升上中四的那一年，小玲因为误会小麦而远离她。小麦当时很伤心，不明白小玲远离她的原因，也没有问她。也因为这样她们之间的误会越来越深。始终没有人肯踏出一步去了解一切的真相。她们开始很少和对方说话，也没有一起上学。久而久之，她们再也没有和对方说话了。

直到有一天，小麦才发现原来小玲是因为误会她而远离她。正当小麦想要解决她们之间的误会时，已经太迟了。小玲已经把她们的友谊给忘了。友情就像感情一样，一旦问题拖太久，就会变淡了。无论再怎么努力去挽回，也已经无可补救了。

就因为一场误会，而牺牲了她们三年的友情。小麦从那天起，一直过着伤心的生活。几年后，她无意间发现自己患上了癌症，而且是末期的脑癌。

欢迎大家给予任何意见。也欢迎大家给予心目中想要的结局和最适合这篇故事的题目。谢谢。

家是避风港。 不管任何时候， 家永远都会在那里。 无论人们去到哪里或去到多远的地方，最后还是会回到家。每个人都想有个家， 我也不例外。

家给人的感觉是温暖，幸福的。 可是却给我不想回家的感觉。宁愿待在外面，也不想回家。不能出去，也宁愿待在学校，不想那么早回家。

父母的严格是孩子们无法了解的。 父母越是要控制孩子的生活， 孩子就会越反抗。 久而久之，关系变得恶化。相信 孩子们都不喜欢父母处处管教。例如，不能出去， 手机在几点之前要交。

最让我觉得很疑惑的就是别人的家可以给我家的感觉， 可是我的家却没有。 有时会羡慕别人有了解他们，关心他们，体谅他们的父母。 多么希望我的父母能像其他父母一样。

我想有个快乐与幸福的家。 这是金钱所买不到的。

欢迎大家给予任何意见。谢谢。comment write in english also can.

Today woke up at 7.55am. After had breakfast, then went to college. First time study in the morning. good,right? The library's air-cond was so cold. After an hour, went out for a while. Cannot tahan the cold. Don't know why I felt so sleepy during physics class. Felt like want to sleep. At that time only I remembered I didn't eat medicine in the morning. swt! So forgetful.

Anyway, did a stupid thing. I shouldn't say that. Very sorry. Anyway, thank you for accompany me.

当认为什么事情都是美好的时候，就是有事情会发生的时候。为什么要那样怀疑我？

15th of July

Don't know how to write already. Life is it like this? Full of happiness and sadness. Tired but tons of homeworks. Luckily no need to pass up tomorrow. when sick will end? I can't withstand it anymore. Seems like the medicine also no use. Hope I can recover tomorrow.

My sick is getting worse and worse. what should I do?

Am I talk like very angry? I also don't know. maybe recently ate medicine so felt sleepy. So maybe will talk like very angry.

14th of July

Time past so fast. Now already July. 14th of every month quite important to me. Today my sick getting better. Don't know what is my feeling today. Happy? Sad? Depressed? Worry? Emo?

Have some ideas to write but don't know how to start it. Wondering I got enough time to finish it or not as recently homeworks are getting more and more. Somemore still got the Malaysian Studies assignment. I guess next month will be more busy.

After 3 days

I was worry in the morning. Finally I went to see doctor after suffering for the past few days. Hope I can recover soon.

Another sunday

Someone woke me up at 8.45am.=.= so early. After had my breakfast, went to bukit jalil park as usual. I was so sleepy at that time. Maybe because ate medicine after my breakfast. Just felt like want to have a sleep. Dad talked to me while we walked around. After that, mum wanted me to run so ran for a while. Almost fainted at there. Somemore when I was alone. Luckily didn't faint. After went back home, I slept for a while. Then, went to had lunch with my uncle and aunty. Luckily I got appetite to eat. After that, did homework. Took nap. Then, did homework again. Did the maths homework until I can't think anymore. After that, played piano then went out for dinner. Online at night but sleepy. Seems like the medicine really can make me keep on want to sleep.

Hate sick

Sick makes me eat anything also no taste. Can't do much things. Now I know what is the bad things of having sick.

Suffering

Today woke up early in the morning. My voices was so beautiful. Luckily after ate sweets and drink water, it became better. When I was memorising the script, Pei ling came and we chat for a while. Thank you very much for chatting with me.

Around 9am, I went to library discussion area. It was cold there. I felt so suffering because it made my flu became more serious. We discussed the script and did rehearsal at training room. It was fun. After that, went to class. Thank you very much for accompany me. Accounts class was boring. Somemore I was very sick. Felt like my brain can't function and wanted to sleep. Somemore it was cold and I had flu. Felt like can't breath in the air-cond room. I hope the class ended earlier but it ended a bit late. After finished class, I quickly went out. I can't stay in the air-cond room if not I will be more and more sick. After walked around, then I went back to class. Presentation still ok but I was quite blur. After that lecturer gave us comprehension to do. It was so difficult cus I don't understand the text. Seems like I had to work hard on it. The best medicine to me is you. Don't know why you can make me feeling well for a moment.

Although went back home at 2.40pm but I reached home at 3.30pm. After ate medicine, I took nap. When I woke up, I was not feeling well. I played piano then online for a while. After that, do homework. At that time, I had flu until want to have a sleep again. Hope I can recover soon.

9th of July

Tired. Got discussion after class until 5pm. Went back home at 5.30pm. Reached home at 5.45pm. tonight have to sleep early already cus too tired and not feeling well. Luckily I had my lunch before class. If not, no time to have lunch. Anyway, no appetite to eat also. Not feeling well. Maybe going to be sick. Anyway, I hope tomorrow I won't be sick and still have voices to talk. Wish my teammates and me all the best and good luck for our presentation. Hope everything will be fine and everyone can enjoy it.

Is going to end

Is going to end my online life. Should get used to it. Just now just can't control my feeling. People don't understand me. Sometimes I just wondering what I did wrong. why people can't just understand me? Even one time is better than none. I always tell myself " never mind. I already get used to it. " but in my heart I really hope that people can understand me.

8th of July

Stop thinking already. I was tired of it. Thank you very much for comfort me all the time. Sure tired of comforting me already because I always not ok. I know I not independant. I know not all problems will have the solution to solve it. That's why I shouldn't think of it anymore. Homeworks are getting more and more. Assignment is coming soon. Now already got the Malaysian studies assignment. =.= Somemore need us to do report and powerpoint presentation. Should have concentrate on my presentation on friday first. Wish me and my teammates all the best. ^^

7th of July

Don't know how to describe my feeling. What I can say is really stress.

Yesterday night only tell me that u haven't pay the fees. I was like what? Last week u said u pay for me. Now u asked me to pay. Last week I was thinking why just give me pay by myself. I thought is u don't trust me. Now only give me pay it. What is the difference between last week and yesterday? At that time I kept on cool down myself. I tell myself " ok, just forget about it. "

Another thing is I don't want to know about it already. I don't want to have that feeling anymore. I don't want to care it anymore.

One more thing is driving. I really no mood to learn driving. Already have lots of things need to do. Not I don't want to learn driving. Is I think now is not the suitable time to learn it. Eventhough now I learn it, I also can't drive. I still not understand why beginning of the year don't let me learn, now only let me learn. What is the difference between beginning of the year and now? I said the same thing for the second time because I really not understand. Don't want to think already. Anyway, piano exam is around the corner. Hope I can play it well.

6th of July

Have class like normal. Thank you very much for accompany me today. I appreciate it.

Have rehearsal for the presentation tomorrow. Saw another group did rehearsal. It is very funny. Start to be busy. Quite tired. Seldom online.

Wish good luck and all the best to all my teammates. Hope we can do it well.^^

what should I write?

5th of July

Today I went for 6 hours teori and amali talk. The teacher is very good. I like the way he taught. He makes the talk not so boring but funny. I kept on laughing. The first time I found out that a talk can be not boring also. 11.20am he let us to have our lunch. So early. After that, continue the teori section. After an hour, then finish the teori section. After that, amari section quite boring especially after change to another teacher to teach. The teacher not responsible. Not yet teach then ask someone to do this do that, ask us this is what this is what. Expect us to know. =.=

Anyway, not a good day to me. I was not in a good mood. I don't know why. Maybe recently something happened or i not enough sleep. Now still ok.

看来我应该要接受那事实了。虽然很难，可是也没办法啦。。。谁叫我是住在这间家。已经很累了。。

4th of July

Guess what time I woke up. 5.30am=.= I was so nervous. Since I woke up so early then I continue to study. After an hour, I went back to sleep again until 8.30am. After took bath and had my breakfast, then went for undang exam. I waited for an hour only reached my turn. 1 hour of daydreaming. When doing the question, I was quite nervous. After I finished it, I checked it again. Luckily I got check. If not, I wrong 1 question already. Finally I passed it. I can't believe it.

I have the feeling of home. Until now, I still don't understand why I can have the feeling of home at others house but not my house. I don't want a big house. I just want the feeling of home. But it seems like quite far to me. Since I was in secondary, I don't have that feeling anymore. I hope that I can go back to my old house. Although it is smaller but all memories and the feeling of home are there. Quite admire others who have friendly parents. Like everything also can talk about. Thank you very much for accompany me today.

Nervous? or sad? or i don't have confident?i also don't know. just feel like i am lost.

After 18 days

Today morning I felt quite surprised. Thank you very much for the surprise. I didn't expect that. Thank you very much for accompany me today eventhough is just for a while. Today afternoon my dad called me and asked me want to have undang exam tomorrow or not. I answered yes cus I don't want to wait already. Tommorrow undang exam. sob..sob...Quite scard of it. Wish me all the best and good luck tomorrow. If can pass, then will continue to listen 6 hours talk.

想知道我 ok 不ok 很简单，只要观察就会知道。想要我说心里想的东西，你就需要让我有那种想告诉你的心情。 想要我打开内心的世界，你就要先打开你内心的世界。 想要我不要活在内心的世界，就要把我从内心的世界带出来，例如责骂我。我总是会被别人骂醒。能骂醒我的时候，我会很感谢。

It's over. I won't think it anymore. Felt not ok for a week. Now I understand already. I will just left it aside. I won't let it to control my feeling and my life. I won't regret cus I have done what I should do. Start to be happy from today. ^-^

I thought I can forget but it still in my mind. maybe i still not really accept it.