Temporary

Is it everything only temporary? Friendship is also temporary? All this while I thought friendship can last long but I am wrong. Maybe I am wrong in everything. I know I don't know how to express what I want to say and what I feel. Maybe I am not the right person that u want. I know I felt sad but I have to be happy already. I would like to apologise for everything that I did or said wrongly. Thank you very much for everything. Take care.

不再逃避了

再逃避也没有用。与其逃避不如面对。开始习惯一个人。或许我应该停止活在自己的世界里。因为这样，我伤害了别人。是我想要的吗？

结束

一切应该结束了吧！是不是每个开始都会有结束呢？为什么会有伤害呢？是因为希望太多还是失望太多？还是因为太过信任对方？开始总是美好的。但结束多数都是悲伤的。每次的结束都会让我想起开始和之前所发生过的事情。就像昨天，想起很多美好的回忆。也让我想起一些事情。还记得那一天，我因为说错一句话而差点失去了一份友情。还好过后还能当朋友。

Thank you very much to my cousin and my classmates. Thanks for all the jokes.

End up like this

I think I will stop updating today. Just leave me alone for a few weeks. Thank you. Maybe nobody understand the feeling. Wish everyone has a nice weekends. Take care.

无助

以前每次我最伤心的时候，总是有人会陪我，安慰我。可是这都是以前。以前我哭的时候，总是有人会在我身边让我依靠，安慰我。开心或不开心的时候，有人可以分享。原本不认识对方也可以因为相处久后而变得很熟的朋友。起初我以为我在中学不会有很好的朋友，可是我错了。缘分让我遇到了你们。很想念以前一起读书，一起玩乐的时候。你们带给我很多欢乐。还记得中五的时候，我们时常会一起读书，一起玩乐。玩乐的时候我们都喜欢玩水。中四的时候，我有一阵子没有去学校因为脚受伤了。当我回到学校的时候，你们很欢迎我，还帮我拿书包。这件事我永远都不会忘记。也是在中三的时候，还记得那天是拿PMR的slip, 我回到座位后哭了一阵子。当时幸好有你们陪在我身边安慰我和鼓励我。中三的下半年可说是我活在最黑暗的时期。现在说再多，也没有用了。一切只能当成是回忆。我还是要说声谢谢你们。谢谢你们的关心，鼓励和支持。

28th of May

Today went to college on 12 something. Today physics class really short. Just about one hour. The lecturer very good. After finished class, I went to library. An hour later, I went to buy waffle to eat. I choose my favourite flavour again. (chocolate) but it is too much chocolate already. Although alone but didn't feel boring. Maybe I start to get used to be alone already. After that, went back to library.

Mokky, what happened to u? After read your blog, I felt very sad. Don't think too much. Anything can find me. Take care.

Get used to it

Get used to a lonely life. Hope I really can be independant.

Still remember

I really still remember it. Really can't forget it.

27th of May

Today at first my dad wanted to fetch me to college but traffic jam. So, my mum fetch me. I reached at college around 10.30am. Then, went to class. Applics class still ok. Physics class quite short. After we did our experiment, the lecturer let us go. Less than half an hour. After that, I went to library to find mokky. Then, we went to have lunch together. We went to eat chicken rice again. After that, we changed to eat tom yam mee and don't know what ice instead of eating curry mee and waffle. The tom yam mee tastes weird especially the soup. After that, I went to class. Start to feel sleepy cus quite boring. Then, my friends and I went for Malaysian studies class. Very boring. Luckily today just introduction and briefing about the course outline. It ended at 4.40pm. Then, went back home. Something that make me regret after this. I shouldn't have went back home. I should have stay at the college. It already past and no reason for me to regret anymore.

260 posts

Starting my new life. Kept on find things to do. Always alone so let myself to be busy. Hope after some days I can get used to it. Looking forward for happy life. Finally I have my own decision.

25th of May

Don't know what to write. I know I should be independant but sometimes quite hard to me. Hope I can decide it soon.

9.09am

Woke up half an hour ago. So sleepy. Luckily still can open my eyes.haha...better than yesterday. Going to less online and less blogging for the next few weeks. Wish everyone has a nice weekends. Take care and all the best=)

3.18am

Still cannot sleep. Like to do facebook quiz. Quite fun.

Eldest among the siblings is it good or bad?

In my opinion, I think eldest among the siblings is bad. I don't like to be the eldest among the siblings. To me, eldest among the siblings let me feel pressure. High expectation and responsibility. Sometimes I really hope I am not the eldest. Honestly, I hope I got an elder brother and sister. They can care me, protect me and guide me. However, I am the eldest so have to be a good example to my brother and sister. I would like to say I need care, protection and guidance but in real life I don't have. Sometimes admire my brother and sister cus got someone care them and guide them. Besides that, sometimes it is unfair to me. I need to do all those things but they no need to do even one. Sometimes I have to get scolded even I did it. Furthermore, I blamed by someone eventhough I didn't did it. The only good thing I think is can learn to be independant and responsible. This is just my opinion. If u disagree with my opinion or have different opinion, I can accept it. I would like to apologise if I say anything wrong.

跌到最低潮

刚才差一点连我自己也救不回我自己。我知道自己没有以前那样坚强。虽然我很想像以前那样坚强，可是我变得很脆弱。突然发生很多事情，我就会失控，迷失了方向，也不想说太多话，也会很无助。

23rd of May

Today woke up at 7 something in the morning. Long time didn't woke up so early already. I was so sleepy so I went back to sleep. Anyway, just slept for a while. After I took bath and had my breakfast, then my dad fetch me to college to attend the scholarship award ceremory. When we reached there, it was just around 8.30am so My dad and I went to cafeteria first. We ordered a cup of milo. We sat down and chat. We seldom chat for a long time. I think the last time is last year. Maybe I should decide what I should do right now. Don't be very undecided and lazy. After that, we went to mph hall to attend it. I went to register first and my dad went to work. The ceremony was boring. I almost fall asleep as I was sleepy. Thank you very much for accompany me today. After that, I waited for my dad to fetch me. Pei ling also followed me back since my dad can fetch her. We chat while waiting for my dad to fetch us. Nice to chat with her. We chat quite a lot of things. We seldom have the chance to chat so many things. Quite miss it when my dad fetch us. After went back home, I played piano then took nap. After that, I ate biscuit cus my mihun soup had eaten by others. Then, watch tv. After I took my dinner, I did some homeworks. Quite emo at the end of the day. Don't want to mention it anymore cus don't want to write an emo post.

22nd of May

Countdown. Half year before the day. Do u know is what day?

21st of May

Very sorry that today I don't really want to talk and no appetite to have lunch. Sorry to mokky that I didn't talk much with u today. Thank you to mokky for belanja me the waffle. The waffle is nice.( Got my favorite flavour.haha...)

Remember

Hope I can remember what u say today. Hope I also can be independant. Thank you very much. Very sorry to make u angry. Hope 1 day I can tell everything without u ask me to tell.

H-u-r-t

Is it a hurt? I think it is not.

M-o-o-d

No mood to chat. Dont feel like want to talk much.

Teacher's day celebration

Teacher's day celebration still ok. Luckily I didn't fall asleep. Sometimes quite funny especially when students gave their speech to their respective lecturer. My beloved lecturer also sang a song for us. Quite nice.

18th of May

Not feeling well today. I felt very suffering during physics class. Luckily after that I felt better. Now my hands very cold. I will not be online today cus tomorrow got exam. Tomorrow 6pm only can go back. Haiz...

17th May

Not much thing to mention. Anyway,thank you very much for your caring.

Love nature.

Tired

Why I still so tired? Slept for more than 8 hours. Anyway, I woke up at 5.45am but I went to sleep again. Now I still feel tired. what's wrong with me?

sleepy

Don't know why so sleepy. After took the nap, more sleepy and blur. Today very boring. Anyway, I did some homework but it took a lot of time to do every question. All these questions are just chemistry questions. Seems like my chemistry getting worse. Thinking of something. Thank you very much for your answer. Why she want to control me? Feel not so happy at the end of the day.

I wont help her anymore. Help her still have to get scolded by her.

人渐渐成熟的十五种迹象，你有多少？

人终要长大的。换言之，是自己慢慢学着长大。在人生的道上一步一个脚印，或深或浅记录着芸芸众生成长的深度。成长越慢的人往往受得伤就会越多，面对种种伤痕我们要做的不仅仅是承受，更多的是要感恩。感谢那些让你受伤的事情，忘记那些让你受伤的人，伤害也许是无意的，成长却是必须的。
　　一，当你发现自己不再盲目的喜欢跟风似的和一群人混在一起，开始尊重自己的意愿做自己需要做的事情，开始安排自己的种种计划，规划自己的方向，自己的独处也变得充满意义。
　　二，当你面对很多选择时，不再犹豫不定，脑中会很快得闪过三个以上选择某种选项的必要原因。有了自己独立的思想，开始学着镇定理性得思考问题。
　　三，当你开始觉得时间明显得不够用，渐渐的觉得睡懒觉，逛街等是相当浪费时间金钱的事情，思想与行动上的时间概念达成了一致，合理的安排时间，充实的生活会把自己带入一个更喜欢的世界。
　　四，当你在上网或阅读时，会把侧重点从一味的关注娱乐杂谈转移到新闻国事，经济发展趋势的版图，娱乐杂谈永远是用来开怀大笑的，而新闻国事则是提高个人认知程度关心国家发展以及爱国的表现，开放的心灵开放的国度，互通有无，共同进步，闭关锁国万万不得已，经济发展趋势往往会影响人们囊中银子的分量。
　　五，当你在饮食习惯上越来越重视食物的质量，养生之道的念头闯入脑海，学着坚持吃早餐，每天坚持锻炼身体。俗话说得好，留在青山在，不怕没柴烧。这个道理无人不知晓吧。
　　六，当你再次被人问到爱情，友情，亲情三者的分量时。首先想到的应该是家中的妈妈，血浓于水是千古不变的真理。
　　七，当你再遇到不顺心的事情时不再是用哭闹来解决问题，眼泪能冲刷的永远是面容，能改变现状的只有行动。
　　八，重视自己的朋友，爱人。因为这些人不是总会存在你的生命中的，也许在不轻易间就物是人非了。在他们面前你无需作假，天真无瑕的自己在这个大千世界里是为他们上演的。切忌不要忘了真诚。
　　九，让自己快乐，让周围的人快乐。绝对比金钱有价值。
　　十，在面对得与失，去与留的问题上，大度与开怀会让复杂的事情变得简单，简单的事情变得富有意义。
　　十一，任何时候不要与老人与小孩子计较，生命的开始是无知的，生命的完结应该快乐的。
　　十二，学着尊重每个人每个生物，就如向日葵喜欢面对太阳才会微笑。
　　十三，心态，健全平和的心态是始终贯穿成功之路的筹码。正确地树立前进的目标，让生活目标而不是在沉重氛围的度过，记住，任何时候都不要把自己搞得太累，生活的价值就完全失去了。
　　十四，自信的生活，开心的笑，成功与快乐并驾齐驱。不以物喜，不以己悲。
　　十五，淡忘仇恨，春暖花开。心有多大，舞台就有多大。

Am I wrong?

Am I wrong? Maybe is my wrong.

15th of May

Today I woke up at 8.20am but still feel tired. Maybe not enough sleep. After had my breakfast then went to college. Recently I went to college quite late. After I went to library to print notes then went to class. Account class quite boring. Luckily FIA students came in then we can finish class earlier. FIA belanja all Ausmat students a meal. so good. But I didn't eat. haha... Headache before the class. Thank you very much for accompany me. English class was fun and funny. Kept on laughing.

After english class, I went to sunway pyramid to watch movie. No appetite to eat. Maybe hungry until no feeling already. The movie was nice. Although quite sleepy but the movie didn't make me fall asleep. Thank you very much to mokky and eu jin. It was a nice day to me. Very sorry to mokky.

Wait

Wait really can change a decision...from hope to disappointment then from disappointment to hope. Today only realise that. It never happened before. Can say it is a miracle.

Please stop saying that

why they like to keep on saying about that? It had happened 2 months ago. Until now, they still mention that.

14th of May

14th of every month is valentine day. How's my day? Can say got happy and sad. Anyway, it ended with happy day. Thank you very much. Now I realise what is happiness. It really came without knowing.

12th of May

Today have class like usual. Got anyone see me angry before? haha...
Thank you very much for accompany me today. Although it only an hour but it is nice and fun.
Very tired.

What should I do?

Recently lazy blogging. The darkest hour is that before dawn.

Am I ok?

Am I ok? I just hope that I am ok. Maybe will less write blog and online.

Haiz...

Why it happened for another time? Can't imagine what going to happen. Just hope that it won't be getting serious. Maybe it is fake.

Wesak Day

Today morning only I realise is wesak day. (swt! what happened to me?)
After had my breakfast then took bath. After that, I went to a place with I long time didn't go already. Miss my friends so much. Very sorry that I didn't help u all for 1 and a half years already. I felt quite happy can meet u all today. Glad that some of them still remember me. Think back lots of memory. Hope next time I got chance to help u all.

Where's happiness?

Where's happiness? Happiness seems to be hidden somewhere. Nobody knows when it'll show up.

Welcome

Welcome some of my friends back to home. Hope we can meet soon. Take care.

Do

Do unto others as you would others do unto you. Treat others like how u want them treat you. But sometimes it doesn't happen like that.

No feeling

No feeling anymore. Just let myself don't think too much. Thank you very much for accompany me today. Account class still ok. English class is more boring. After that, went to a few places then only reach home. At that time I was hungry until no feeling anymore.

Life

Life is short or long? Last time I believe that good people has a longer life but now I don't believe it already. I think not necessary all the time we decide that. Whenever we still alive, we must appreciate what we have and don't do anything that make ourselves regret. We won't know what will happen tomorrow.

Emotional

Emotional. Yes, I am emotional. Don't know since when I became quite emotional. Very sorry if hurts anyone or bring sadness to anyone. Recently I got try to change already. Anyway, thank you very much for always tolerate me and comfort me. I am grateful to you for your understanding, let me relieve my feeling. Thanks a lot.

Realise

Standing at the T-junction. Losing my direction. Living in a dark world, suddenly saw a shine. Realise something. Don't be humble to lend a hand cus we will never know whether the person need your help or not. Maybe we help the person a lot until the heart can melt but we don't know we have done a great thing. One greeting can show a care.

Maybe

Maybe have to don't think too much. If not, will think it again.

Cruel

More cruel. Need to keep my handphone everyday. what kind of people is this?

5th of May

Today had class like usual. After finished class, I went to library to meet mokky. After that, we don't know where to go. Then, we went into library to use computer. When I turned on the computer, suddenly I suggested to go to pink house. Another time we don't know what to eat. At the end, I ordered peanut butter with milk toast and mashed potato. Quite nice. Mokky ordered salad and honeydew drink. When the waitress brought the salad to our table, I was shocked. I had never see this kind of salad before. Special. Very sorry mokky, I can't accompany u after that. Anyway, thank you very much for accompany me. Maybe I have to let myself busy so that I don't think too much. Please don't give me the cold shoulder anymore.

Why?

Headache started in the morning. During 12.30pm-2.30pm was the worst. At that time I felt like want to sleep. Felt getting better after the class. I admit that I am quite stubborn. Very sorry for not listen to what u say. You won't understand why I don't want to tell. I think I know what is the reason I have headache. Now I am ok already. Hope tomorrow will be fine.
Just read an e-mail which is quite meaningful. Remember to always say what you mean. Don't be afraid to express yourself. Reach out and tell someone what they mean to you because when you decide that it is the right time it might be too late. Seize the day. Never have regrets.

End of the day

This time really sick. Have not nice sleep for 2 days. Headache for 3 days. Have cough and sorethroat since morning. Headache more serious in the afternoon and just now. Fever maybe. No need to care me. Thank you to music to heal my headache. Music accompany me whenever I need. I accept it. Didn't talk much today. Maybe for the next few days too.

Brother

Thank you very much to my brother. Thank you for your caring.
You are the only one in my family who understand me.
I liked to hear you play piano too.
Good attitude, clever in studying, good in sports, can play piano well, can be trusted and caring.
Can't imagine if nobody likes u. (Haha...cus i think it is impossible)
Quite miss last time we chat until very late. Now cannot already.
If you are my elder brother then more good.
Your exam is coming soon. Don't give yourself too much pressure.
I believe u can do it well. All the best and good luck!

2nd of May

3 of my friends birthday today. There are fui yen, yvonne and shu han. Happy 18th Birthday to them. Wish them all the best and stay pretty.

what feeling?

What feeling?Hope I can accept it. Don't fall asick before the presentation day.
Very sorry for make u angry.

Song of the Day: bye bye

Thank you for the answer

Thank you very much for the answer. Long time not so happy already.

Song of the Day: Just Dance

No reason

Tears drops without knowing why.

Song of the day: Teardrops on my guitar. Nice song.

Not feeling well

Just now almost want to faint. Headache in the morning. Maybe not enough sleep.