友情

也许它已经不见了。友情不是永远的，但朋友会是永远的。我不想知道了，因为我不知道哪一个才是真的。累了。。放过我，好吗？

明白

曾经我以为不说，别人就会明白。不是明白到底发生什么事，而是明白我的苦衷。可是原来我错了。那背后却是一种伤害。伤害了别人，也伤害了自己。或许我找不到能明白我的人。我还以为不说，就可以让人不会为了我难过，不会知道那事情的真相。 可是原来不是从我口中知道真相后，会比原来的还要难过。 有时候不说是因为不希望单方面的分享。

一次又一次的跌倒是需要勇气去重新站起来。鼓励，安慰和支持是需要的。她不会安慰我，没关系。可是她却说一些让我越跌越深的话，让我在心里想着她到底知不知道我有多伤心多难过多痛苦。不渴望她会安慰我，只希望她可以不要再说了。希望我不会再掉入低潮期，那黑暗的世界。

我接受了那事实。虽然最近发生的都是不如意的事，但我相信事情的发生背后会有它的意义。

想静一静

why it seems like so bad?

Tiring sunday

Slept for 3 hours. In the morning, went to bukit jalil park jogging with family. In the afternoon, my family and I went to Sunway Pyramid to watch movie. Guess what movie I watched?

After that, went to old town to have teatime. Went back home at last.

Satuday night

It was the first time I spent my saturday night with friends. It also the first time I played badminton for such a long time. Can't believe that. It was fun and I wished I no need to go back home. Suddenly addicted with that. However, my hand and back were pain. But it was not the first time I went there. What had happened before is still in my mind. Had gastric when sleeping. Don't know why. Maybe hungry already. Waiting for the next.

那是。。。

那场戏虽然有点闷，可是却让我想起。。。

J co donut

10 fingers

Whose hand is this?

The smallest donut?

Joyce feeding pei ling

Me and Joyce

Tearing the tiramisu donut?

First photo with pei ling that I have

24th of October

Still got one more to go. March intake friends enjoy holiday oh...

意志力

知道为什么有些病人可以康复就算她们得的是癌症？那是因为她们生存的意志力比别人强。像我们没有疾病的人，意志力应该比她们强吧！可是我却曾经失去过它。。

快乐的时候，能和别人分享，就会有希望。伤心的时候，能得到别人的鼓励，就会有一丝的安慰。

人因梦想而伟大，我因挫折而长大。

别人对你的伤害是无心的，可是对你的帮助是真心的。不要怀疑别人是否是真心的。当你怀疑的时候，就看不到真心了。

为什么会是一个人呢？

Should I blogging?

Suddenly came out this question in my mind. Should I blogging?

Yesterday slept in front of the computer. Can't believe that I can do that. Anyway, got went back to bed to sleep.

Recently what I feel? emo? sad? happy? Just feel ok only. Tired and easy to faint happened recently.

Friendship forever? Sorry to say that I can't believe it anymore. But I still consider friends forever. Happy birthday to my friend, prasila.

Wish everyone enjoy raya holiday. But, I can't enjoy it. Waiting for next week.

Chance

Don't miss the chance before regret. The feeling of regret is not as simple as 123. It may make people remember it for the rest of the life. It also may make people to remind themselves to not do that again. Just have one chance to live. If give up, the chance will not repeat or come back again. Will I give?

I have many secrets in heart? I don't have. Just sometimes something happened may let me have some new thoughts. So, I just write it out. Sometimes just share my feeling but that not means that I always sad.

Friendship? Really hope to know what is friendship? I admit that I won't involve in any new friendship anymore. This not means I don't want to have new friends. I still will let myself have new friends but I won't put too many effort on that.

Helping is good? I don't think so. Nothing good will happen next. People just say thank you and won't care about what we have gone through when helping them.

还要相信吗？

心碎

心碎很容易，心动就很难。
有遇到同样的情况，可是这次我可以面对。

雨，谢谢你。
我好多了。。

I quite early leave the hall. Do anyone realise? The reason is I don't want to faint at there. wish me all the best tomorrow. Hope I still can handle it.

心

对我的好
无法形容
可是却深深地烙印在我心里。。

我会珍惜
会包容
会听话

对不起，
以前的我不会包容，
固执又不独立。。。

心被融化
不开心的事都忘了

No faint no life. wish ausmat students and me good luck in mock exam.

最大的惊喜

今天收到最大的惊喜。I was panic. Pei Ling saw that. She told me that it was the first time I had that impression. It is true that first time I was panic in front of my friends.

在我最无助的时候，没有人伸出援手。知道吗？ 出乎意料的是我能自己面对它。这是第一次，也没想到我还可以像以前那样的坚强。不过，那只是短短的半小时。

希望能找回它。

The power of word

Don't underestimate the power of word or sentence. It may hurt people deeply. At that time even hundred times of sorry also can't cure it. I agree with it. Think before say anything.

Sharing is caring. Thank you very much to xin di for sharing the book with me. Hope I can finish reading it as soon as possible.

From tomorrow onwards I will seldom online. Any important thing just sms me or leave me a comment at here. Thank you. Wish all ausmat students good luck in coming exam.

Just want to inform u all that my driving exam changes to 29 of September.

我以为我可以开心地面对它，可是我做不到。不再勉强了。

大小姐？小公主？

有个人总是不自觉地想和我吵架
可是我也十分地挣扎
每当看到那个人伤心或睡不着的时候，
我却不忍心丢下她一个人
我也不知道为什么
不知道为什么不忍心丢下她
不知道为什么想保护她
不知道为什么要对她好
而她却觉得那是理所当然的

Weak

Recently don't know what happened to me. Today slept for a long time and took nap for one and a half hours but still feel tired. 我还能撑多久？真的很累很累了。。

Wish pei ling can recover from flu soon. take care.

Angel

天使保护着人们，让他们尽可能不受任何伤害，永远的保护他们。我一直都相信，因为每一次都让我度过难关。是幸运还是保佑？这让我不得不相信天使的存在。自从那件事，我的人生改变了。是别人操控着我的人生，而我也知道我的人生会变成这样。 唯有接受，因为事实是不能改变的。天使， 我该怎么办才好？

Leona Lewis - Angel
Lyrics by Fanessia
I feel it, you feel it
That this was meant to be.
I know it, you know it
That you were made for me.
We came tonight, not any longer
Day by day we're getting stronger.
I want it, you want itIt's what the people want to see.
We're like Romeo and Juliet
Fact leaves fate to find us.
Like the tallest mountain on the widest sea
Nothing's big enough to hide us.
When we make love its overwhelming
I just touch the heavens
You're an angel, you're an angel
I said this world, this world.
Could leave us anyday
But my love for you, it will never go away.
And I don't wanna go to sleep
Cuz' you are like a dream
For every night I see you there,
And I swear you are the answer
You're an angel, you're an angel, you're an angel.
So we take it and each moment that I pause
I see it, you see it,
What we have is made of gold
We're so filled with meaning,
Nothing can make us shallow.
So I hold it, and you hold it
The promise of tomorrow.
When we make

p/s: mokky, still remember which teacher is your 天使？

Exam

Exam. When people heard of exam, most people dislike it. do u agree? Some people will feel scard too. The first time I scard of exam is this year evaluation exam. I remembered 2 days before physics exam, I scard until I can't sleep at night. Now think back felt very funny.

Exam is part of the life that all of us have to go through. First, we will have UPSR, then PMR, then SPM, then STPM or Pre-u. When had UPSR, we would think it's not easy. When had PMR, we would think it's not easy but think UPSR is so easy. When had SPM, we would think it is very hard but think UPSR and PMR is so easy. When had STPM or Pre-u, we would think UPSR, PMR and SPM is easy. I think this is what some of u will think that or feel that also,right?

Some of them will aim for high marks before getting the result. When they had good result, they will cheer for their success. When they had bad result, they will feel very disappointed. This is why we have this phrase in chinese, 希望越大，失望越大。The feeling is not good. If can, better don't let yourself to have that feeling. It may let u to give up. But give up is not the way to solve anything. When want to give up, just give yourself confident and tell yourself that u can do it.

Time flies without we knowing it. Mock exam is around the corner. Scard also have to face it. Not scard also have to face it. Most of them scard or worry about that. Starting of this month I also felt that but now didn't feel that already. Not I not scard or not worry. Is nothing to be scard and worry cus exam is like a daily routine already. But I not confident is for sure. If u study Ausmat, u will know that. These few weeks every week also got exam like the clock not stop moving. My mum asked me why every week got exam? how I know oh...

Something happened without knowing why. Suddenly my leg like no feeling when walked. Is a sign?

Wish my friends who taking computer science, cae and english good luck for tomorrow.

090909

090909 so meaningful. I didn't know that today is 090909 until my friend told me that. Don't know how to say about my day. First, went to class got people said I am emo. I was like what? Luckily is said for fun only.

After class, met mokky at library for a while. Sorry, didn't chat much with u.

Second, I was mad today. Sorry to pei ling and joyce. I also don't know what I was talking. Pei ling, remember next time prepare the box oh....haha...

After class, saw pei ling again at library. After that, saw mokky again at library.

Wish everyone happy forever just like 090909. wish all my friends good luck and all the best for tomorrow topic test and coming mock exam.

Suspect

why want to suspect me? I also didn't do anything.

The feeling of disappointment is not only come when have hope. Without hope, the feeling of disappointment still can be so strong.

I also hope there will be no sad posts anymore. Sorry to my friends who feel sad after reading the posts. Thank you very much for all of your caring. Hope I will be happy soon.^^

To my friends, if want to go out with me or invite me to anywhere during end of the year, please let me know when u make sure the date. Have to make appointment oh...Not all the time I am available.

预感

刚才去了一个熟悉的地方，也做了同样的事情，可是这次是我一个人去而已，而且是在黑暗的地方。这次我用很短的时间在那里。伤害有时是不自然的产生。有时想阻止的时候已经太迟了。我应该说谢谢还是不想要呢？心里的确很挣扎。因为在伤口还没复合的时候，又让它无法复合而且伤得更深。谢谢是因为它让我更坚强。不想要是因为我真的不想要了，因为那种感觉很痛苦，很难受。

今天我有不详的预感，觉得有不好的事情会发生。果然真的有事情发生。 我在下个星期不能考车。好消息还是坏消息？对我来说或许是好消息吧！可以让我有时间慢慢恢复。我知道朋友们都希望我能开心起来，可是我只能短暂的开心，有时勉强的笑。对不起，让你们失望了。

对了，如果你们11月，12月想找我或想约我去哪里，确定日期请让我知道。要有预约的哦。。谢谢。

Holiday?

Today is public holiday. Actually I planned to go college today but didn't go. Played badminton in the morning.

After that, went to have lunch. online and do piano homework in the afternoon. After that, took nap. recently don't know why so tired.

It didn't drop for a few days although sometimes almost cannot control. Then I fell asleep yesterday.

Happiness or sadness?

Glad that can see u all today cus long time didn't see u all already. Quite happy in the morning. Nice to chat with sheau jia.

Anyway, happiness is just a moment. Another time I was the last one to know. The feeling is so terrible. why I always is the last one to know? It makes me feel that I was invinsible.

Someone asked me do I have true friends in college. How only consider is true friends? Some of my form 6 friends admire me can go college cus they feel that college is more fun than secondary. Seriously, I think that secondary is more fun than college. I miss secondary very much. Glad that can see u all yesterday. All of them I three months didn't see them already.

Today only I know that quite a lot of people see my blog. Thank you for visiting.

5th of September

Actually don't feel like blogging but don't know why I still open and write it. ok or not ok is just a line. It likes a graph. above x axis is ok, below x axis is not ok.

straightforward is better than lie? eventhough lie is even hurt but straightforward sometimes may be a hurt when lie will not appear. You will know the feel when u experience it. why everyone say I am kind? but I didn't feel so. Secret is just a secret. Nobody will know when people didn't reveal it to anyone. Last time I thought that but now I not sure already. Just hope that it won't close anymore. If not, it will be hard to open again.

Don't know since when I start always crying. Whenever have problem or feel sad or feel stress, crying became the way to let me feel better. But the worst thing is will forget everything. Now maybe sleeping can replace it. Crying in the heart may replace crying directly. However listening to music doesn't help much.

Never think I am good because I know my weaknesses. I know I not as good as last time.

I will be back

I will be back to help u all. Long time no see u all already. Hope this time I won't lose my promise again.

The photo below was taken a few years ago.

One of the game

After played games

Group photo

Can find me?

Guess when is it?

Appreciate

Thank you very much to my classmates. Now I felt better already. The happiness just came without knowing.

Next tuesday no physics class. So good. Today extra class also not very long time. Just 2.45pm-4pm. Quite fun during the class. Soon will very less or no online.

不再执着了。顺其自然。

12.25am: feel like fainting.

The worst day

The worst day I hope I will never have it again. Not feel like blogging but since quite a lot of people asked about that. So wanted to thank u all. I am glad to have u all as my friends. Thank you for the caring. I can't give up until 24th of September. Still on the way to final destination. What had happened is just a challenge. Although I hope I won't remember it but I will never forget. First time I can't stop myself. Luckily someone called me who stopped it. If not, I can't imagine when it ended. Time really can change people's impression. It's true. I will never forget.

Appreciate the day I have.

2nd of September

Actually wanted to tell u all today but forget already. Never mind. Just want to tell u all that tomorrow I got 2 exams. 1 is Q.T.I exam. Another one is applics topic test. Now looking at the time is almost 1am. I still haven't sleep. Don't know why can't sleep. Nervous? Maybe. Just thinking about what will happen tomorrow. Anyway, wish all applics students good luck in the test tomorrow. We can do it. I also will try my best. Hope will be a good news.

谁会是我的天使？

过去 continue

还记得婆婆很疼我。每一年的新年，她都会叫我帮她包红包。我都是第一个拿到她的红包。而且是除夕就拿到红包。那时候我真的很开心。可惜现在都没有机会了。一切只能当作回忆。说真的，我好像自从那时就没有帮别人包红包了。

很奇怪的是婆婆和姑姑比起父母，她们比较疼我。每当伤心或找不到人说或需要支持的时候，就会想到她。虽然她不在我的身边，可是感觉到她的存在，给我一点安慰。

过去就让它过去吧！现在也有很多事情要忙了。是时候不想了。加油哦！

过去

每个人也许都有不想让别人知道的过去。可是那会永远停留在心中。

不知道你还记不记得5 月的时候有一个星期我时常都哭。其实那个时候是我最想念我的婆婆的时候。如果有机会，我真希望还能见到她。当时的不懂事换来的是遗憾。也许都是要等到失去了才会珍惜。那种感觉真的很难受。

希望你们会珍惜你们身边的人，不要等到失去了才来后悔，不要让自己有遗憾。有什么话，趁有机会的时候就说，不要迟疑。