Touched

Feel touched when I saw the message. Thank you very much. No matter what happen in future, I will remember I have you who cares me a lot. I appreciate it. I would like to apologise for everything that I did wrong or said wrong. When I not ok, you will always be there to comfort me or let me say out my feeling. Sometimes u will wait patiently until I say. Very sorry for the past few days I not so ok, let u worry. Thank you very much for always make me happy again. No matter how much I not ok, I will become happy again at the end. You are the best. You will always in my mind and in my heart.

Night

I went for the dancing class again. I think this will be the last class I attend. Time past so fast. It became harder and harder. Anyway, thank you very much to pei ling and her mum. Thanks a lot. I love it.

Last day of June

Time past so fast. Today is the last day of June. Half year is gone. Holiday is going to end. This means that from today onwards i will seldom online. I would like to apologise to anyone who want to chat with me. New semester new life. I have to get use to it. Just want to announce that if sms me after 11pm, most probably i will late reply. Very sorry for the inconvenience. Hope everything will be fine for the next few months. Bye bye to holiday and june. Take care.

家

家？我有个家吗？不明白为什么他们要对我这样。反而姑姑对我特别好。好奇怪哦！对我来说，家是避风港。没有其他任何意义了。也没有任何感觉了。我讨厌别人没问过我，就看我的东西。要看就问，不要偷偷看然后被我知道。说我不自爱。如果我不自爱，我还会在这里吗。用头脑想都会知道是什么答案。如果可以选择，我希望我不是住在这间家。

Now I slowly understand it. Getting better.

Hope 1 day I can have confidence. Maybe I too care about what others said. Will I fail it?

5 hours

I was suffering for 5 hours. The talk was very boring. I was waiting to go back home but the time past 10 minutes when everytime I see the clock. Now I understand what is the feeling when the time passes so slow. Before that I thought it was easy but it got so many things need to read. =.= next week need to have exam. I cham la...

Just now...very efficient. thank you very much.

The king of pop

We will remember you. You are the king of pop. Rest in peace.

Daily routine for my holiday

This can say is the time schedule for what I do during my holiday. Boring,right?
8.30am-9.30am wake up
9.30am-10am have my breakfast
10am-12.30pm or 1pm do chores
1pm-2pm have lunch(sometimes also got play piano before lunch)
2pm-3.30pm do my own things
3.30pm-5pm take nap
5pm-6pm do chores again
6pm-7pm sometimes online sometimes play piano
7pm-8pm watch tv
8pm-9pm have dinner (sometimes also got play piano after dinner)
9pm-9.30pm find things to do
9.30pm-11.30pm mostly online

I still can't accept it. Maybe I didn't expect that will happen. Maybe it is also too hurt to me. I hope this is the first time and the last time. Don't know when I already involved in it. They won't know what is the feeling cus they not me. Although we have similarities, but we are different kinds of person in this situation. Imagine if u are me, then what is the feeling? 4 years already. 4 years and 4 months have a big difference. Not so easily to understand it. Maybe I am not the main person so I can't understand it. Since that day I knew it, I was like lost control and quite emo. I was like dropping into the deep sea. I really can't accept it. I still think that whether I should just be normal friend or not. Yesterday no appetite to eat. From morning until afternoon, I kept on let myself busy so that I won't think about that. But it was tiring. Guess when I ate my lunch. 5 something=.= luckily I didn't waste the food cus I was too hungry at that time.

Today I thought I will be fine. But during the lunch, I really can't control myself. I can't explain it although she mention about something related to that. The feel came back again. She kept on mumbling, don't understand me. At that time I cried deeply. It was the worst. Luckily u understand me. Thank you very much for your caring for these few days. Very sorry for disturbing u and let u worry. Don't worry. Now I am ok already.

雨

今天下了一场雨
仿佛在暗示着某些事情的发生

雨
好像听到我说话
陪我一起掉眼泪
才形成了这场雨

无论我多伤心
我不怕孤独
因为有雨的陪伴

无论刮风下雨
无论世界末日
无论遇到再多困难，再多挫折
我都不怕
因为有雨的陪伴
我不再孤独

雨，谢谢你。

If 1 day I lose you, I wont blame anyone cus I know I didn't appreciate u well. I hurt you more. You treat me very good. Now I only I know that. Is it too late? I know u will think I don't trust u when I didn't tell u. I would like to apologise to let u think that. Very sorry. I not don't trust u. Is sometimes really hard to just say out all the things. Very sorry that these few days u might be suffering because of that incident. Hope you will not think that u are my rubbish bin.TYVM, ILY.

25th of June

I still can't accept it. Very sorry. Just give me more time.

Today morning do chores. After took bath then went for registration. Then, rush to school cus I am late. Get scolded again. Very sorry to my brother and sister let u 2 wait for a long time. Anyway, I also didn't have my lunch yet. No appetite to eat. Quite tiring.

When I walked to the first floor, saw siao ping they all. haha...sok may also. surprised that they still remember me. After that, went to the entrance to wait for mokky.

When she came, we went to watch it. It was nice. First participant is ee chern who is the first runner -up. As you all know, he is very good in expression. Anyway, he sang slow song this time. The song called 你把我灌醉。The second participant is yong ping. Still ok but I think fast song more suitable to her. Forget what is the name for the third participant.I remembered he sang 童话。The 4th participant is wan ying who gets the 4th prize. She sang a song called 说爱你。 Quite nice. The 5th participant is wee sen. He sang 说好的幸福呢。 don't know why that time feel like wanted to cry.haha...maybe feel touched. The 6th participant is yong ying who is the champion. She sang 我就是这样。This song very suitable to her. The 7th participant is my brother. haha...He sang 如果你听见我的歌。The 8th participant is siao ping who gets the 5th prize. She sang 日不落。Quite nice. The 9th participant sang 爱的就是你。Quite nice. The 10th participant is nicole who is the second-runner up. She sang 柠檬草的味道。Finish all the solo part.

After that, had 10 minutes break. Then continue with duet part. The 1st group is wee sen and wan ying. They sang 窗外。Still ok. The 2nd group is my brother and siao ping who get 2nd prize. They sang 我真的好想你。Quite nice. The 3rd group is nicole and teck meng. They sang 另一个天堂。the 4th group is yong ying and ming keat who get 1st prize . They sang 心动。Very nice. the 5th group is hui qian and le yi. They sang 大约在冬季。The 6th group is yong ping and kian yeik who get 3rd prize. They sang 爱什么稀罕。Quite nice.

Overall the singing competition is nice. Congratz to my brother, teh teh, siao ping, nicole, yong ying, wan ying and all the winners. Got 扯玲表演和舞蹈表演。扯玲表演蛮好看的。Before we went back saw Puan Yong then chat with her for a while. She miss all her last year form 5 students oh...that means is us lo...haha...she said next year chinese new year go her house again.

24th of June

Not feeling well at night. Feel like going to have sick. Hope tomorrow will be fine. Sorry,today can't update much. Anyway, thank you very much to mokky for accompany me today. Thank you for bringing me to eat so much foods. I appreciate it. All are nice except the spaghetti.
Tomorrow hope can update more about today. Today ended up with something unexpected. what I feel? Just got a question. If 1 day so unlucky get H1N1, what should I do?

Wonderful night

Guess what I did tonight?haha...

After I took my dinner, then my mum fetch my brother to tuition first then fetch nian yu and me go to pei ling's house. Sorry to nian yu and pei ling that I am late. We chat for a while. After that we went for dancing.

Guess who is the teacher. She is pei ling's mum. It is amazing. Her mum dance very well. Seems like her mum is very young. haha...younger than me.

Anyway, I can't remember all the steps. Too forgetful already=.=

Thank you very much to pei ling and her mum. I was glad today. It was a wonderful night. ^^

一个悲伤的故事

如果不想让自己悲伤，请不要看。

我想这是我今年写给你最后的一封信
那我就告诉你一些我以前想跟你讲却不敢讲的秘密
可能是我们爱对方在不同的时间，所以只能做好朋友。但我有些后悔，因为我没有去把握拥有你的机会，没有勇气把心里的话告诉你。我在你转校的时候才发现，已经来不及了。我是一个很笨的人，我只能用这种方式表达我的心情。我想跟你说，我喜欢你。谢谢你。啊！我忘了告诉你。在三个月前，我已经偷偷的把咱们的感情升华了。其实，我喜欢你！

迷迷糊糊中，看见你的背影，心情兴奋，激动。我走前，叫你，你转身。。这个过程我记得非常清楚，但。。转身后的你却带着一副憔悴的样子。我担心了起来，我要关心你，想要走前抱紧你，但却有心无力。。。顿时脑海里会然出现了很多以前的画面，让我再一次地自责，后悔恐怕也来不及。。。小熊，感谢你曾经陪我走过这段日子，虽然我不知道你不曾把我当成你的好朋友，但，我是！每当我看见你的时候，你总是与一大班朋友在一起嘻嘻哈哈的，而我却独自一个人坐在一边默默地看着你们。我多想，多渴望能像你和朋友一样常在一起过着喜，怒，哀，乐的日子。但。。。。我知道这是不可能的。

你还记得吗？在几个月前，不知因什么事，你心情不太好，我想我应该做“出气筒”的工作了。走前果然你拿我来发泄，但，这次你的情绪比较激动，你哭了。当要走前安慰你的时候，你居然叫我去死，叫我以后别再找你。你是否知道我在乎你。那天走时我很自责，我怪自己不能帮你，我想唯一能帮你的就是你所说的“去死”。可能你会觉得我很傻，但。。。是我心甘情愿，再见了朋友，有缘再见。

欢迎你们告诉我你们读后的感觉。我觉得伤心。希望大家不要因为不开心而叫别人“去死”。说话之前，要想清楚。不要让自己后悔。

22nd of June

Happy birthday to Alison!

Just woke up from nap. Feel like not feeling well. Maybe overslept already. Hope later will be fine.

Today morning my parents wanted to register learn driving for me but the shop not yet open. =.= 10am already. So didn't register then went back home. After that do quite a lot of chores. I was tiring. After that, I played piano then had my lunch. Pei ling called me. Looking forward for our outing. Then, online for while and took nap.

Appreciate it

I will keep all the memories in my mind. Hope I won't forget it. I will appreciate all the moments with u. Thank you very much for everything that u have done. Hope u also will appreciate and keep all the memories in your mind.

What I want to do

Haiz...I still don't know what I want to do. Accountant or Qualitative Surveyer?

Ausmat vs form 6

Last week they asked me whether i want to still continue study Ausmat or change to study form 6. swt! =.= Already studied half year already, u think i will change? Of course I won't change. They thought last time I want to study form 6 is because of thinking form 6 is easy. I didn't think that before. Misunderstand me again. Last time I want to study form 6 because I think the money give to my brother to study at college is more valuable. Since he is smarter than me and clever so let him to study at college is the best way. Feel sad when I know that u all thought i think form 6 is easy. Anyway, form 6 and Ausmat also tough. Don't know whether got choose the wrong course. No way to regret now. Just hope that all will be fine.

我想说对不起如果我有伤害到任何人。伤害有时是无心的。

我想和大家分享一个故事。故事是这样开始的。。。
我想这是我第一次写给你的一封信
那我就告诉你一些我以前想跟你讲却不敢讲
我很气自己为什么没有勇气把心底的话当面告诉你
缘份让我们遇上了对方
虽然我们认识对方有几年了，可是我们还不是很认识对方
曾经我以为你不可能会喜欢我，我们不可能在一起
可是我错了
那一天你告诉我这个真相 起初我还以为你在开玩笑
没想到是真的

我一直以来都在保护你。或许你认为那不是一种保护，或许你也不知道。
我没有告诉他们是因为我在保护你。我不想你受到任何伤害。可是我没想到我却伤害着你。我觉得很对不起你。我知道我没有资格再说什么，因为连这么简单的事我都做不好。我真的很没用。我知道没有告诉他们让你很没有安全感。一切都是我的错。我很自私，只顾到自己，却没有顾到别人。我没有告诉他们，因为我怕结果不是我要的。我害怕失去你。或许你认为这不是很好的理由。 我想跟你说，我保护你是因为我喜欢你，我爱你。

每次我找你其实是想见你一面。可以看得出来你不想我特地找你。原本我不知道原因。直到那一天你告诉我，我才知道原来你不想麻烦我。 还记得那一天我伤害了你。我没有想到我说了那句话会伤害到你。真的很对不起。我很抱歉。还有我时常误会你，你还原谅我。我真的很傻，不知道为什么时常误会你。因为误会，我伤害了对方。我很自责。

有时不知道要和你聊什么。每当看到你和别人聊到很起劲的时候，我也想和很渴望我能像他们一样有说不完的话题。但我知道这是不可能的。我知道有时会很情绪化。你处处都体谅我，关心我。感谢你一直以来的体谅，关心和包容。谢谢你每次都安慰我。我大多数都不说原因，你却很耐心的等。等到我说为止。有时不知为什么很难说出口。有时没有那么多原因，你却认为有很多原因。我就一直想。我真的很对不起。这些都是我的缺点。希望你会知道这一切，能明白我的感受。

也许当初我不应该把你带入这痛苦的世界。或许你现在会过得很快乐，也不会想太多。这世界确实很难熬，因为它的背后有很多残酷的事实。对不起，我爱你。

今天不知明天事。不要等到失去了才来后悔。要珍惜你拥有的一切。

不知道读了这个故事，你们的感受是什么。欢迎你们留言。谢谢。

苹果的故事

那一夜 苹果被丢在地上，无法站起来，只好躲在一旁哭泣
世界突然变得一片黑暗，伸手见不到五指，再也看不到光明
它害怕再也无法站起来，会失去拥有的一切。

不管旁人怎么呼喊，它都没回应
你伸出温柔的手
把苹果从黑暗中救出来
让苹果重新站起来
苹果看见了光明
流下了感动的眼泪

可是那只是一时而已
过了几天，苹果有掉入了黑暗的世界
一直不断地挣扎
没有人再伸出温柔的手了
苹果只好靠自己的意志力生存
可是再怎么坚强都会有脆弱的一面

一连串不幸的事情发生
问题也越来越多
苹果开始放弃了
因为它已经迷失了方向
不知道自己活着的理由
最后也腐烂了

Happy Fathers Day

Wish every father including my dad happy fathers day.

Today woke up at 9am=.= I was so sleepy. After that, had my breakfast- wan tan mee. yummy~ but I was rushing to finish it because I slept over already. After that, I went to bukit jalil park with my family. It had been a routine for us since last month.( I guess. forget when already.haha...so forgetful) My dad kept on talk to me. Quite enjoy it. Seldom have the chance to talk for so long time.

After an hour then went back home. After took bath then went to had lunch. I ate fish and chips. Can't finish it. Before eating already quite full. Don't know why. Luckily my family helped me finish it.

After that, I went to mid valley with my parents. We went to Malaysian education fair. I was quite emo after this. Suddenly felt like want to cry. After that walked around then went to buy something to eat. At that time I really don't feel like want to eat. After we bought some bread, then we went back home.

At night, went out to have dinner. I had no appetite to eat. Just hope that I no need to have dinner and just sleep until tomorrow cus too tired already.

Have u ever lost someone you love and wanted one more conversation, one more chance to make up for the time when you thought they would be here forever?

Misunderstand

Sometimes misunderstand can make it become more serious. Yesterday only realise that. Simple thing can become so complicated. Anyway, glad to know it. It is not too late. Hope I won't misunderstand anymore.

Boring day

Boring day. Don't know what I had did. Seems like holiday quite boring. Realise that misunderstand can make a simple thing become so complicated. The way to solve it is communication. Hope our friendship will last forever. ^^

To: chocz

Today just knew that u are going to uum to study. Quite sad when know it. So far from here. We lived quite near also seldom meet each other. Can't imagine after u went there study when we can meet each other. Anyway, wish u all the best and good luck in your studies. Enjoy study at there. Hope can see u soon. Take care. Have a nice day at here. Be happy=)

5.01am

Good morning everyone. Mokky,thank you very much for chatting with me. Nice to chat with u. Yeah! we break our record.^^ take care. enjoy your holiday.

haha...now we still not yet sleep.

Scard me

Just now really scard me. I thought I can't online anymore. These few days really bad luck.

To my sis

Happy birthday to u! Happy birthday to u! Happy birthday to ying! Happy birthday to u! haha...not my birthday.

Happy birthday to my sis!

Boring.........

Holiday

My holiday starts from today to 30th of June. I will appreciate this holiday cus after this holiday don't know when still got holiday. Next week probably go to see singing competition. The other days still don't know yet.

自由？

永不消失的彩虹

有永不消失的彩虹吗？应该不可能有吧！无所谓啦。。反正我的人生不再有彩虹。曾经我以为彩虹是美丽的。它不会每次出现。有时会在下雨后出现。可是它会永久的出现吗？我很希望能永远拥有它，可是能吗？

Reveal

Something I supposed to blog it a few days ago. Sometimes hurt is let us to learn. No matter what living in this world is full of control.

Finish exam

Yeah! finally finish exam already. 1 week and 5 days holiday. I will use it wisely. Just now applics exam not enough time.=.= Don't think already. Have fun. Wish all ausmat students happy holiday and enjoy your holiday.

Sometimes

Not everyone knows everything. Sometimes people just not knowing it. Sometimes also hard to reveal something to someone. Sometimes kept on avoid but can't forget. The problem is still there.

Lots of feeling

Happy? sad? excited? worry? nervous? depressed?

Holiday is coming soon.^^

Chemistry

Just finished chemistry exam just now. Haiz...=.=it is tough. Not really have enough time to write the essay. The calculations took a lot of my time. Didn't expect it will be so hard. Wish all the best and good luck to my friends who have economics paper later. Gambatte!

17th of June

Erm..=.=accounts exam quite hard.Very sorry to my cousin. Recently having exam so didn't realise that something happened to u. I felt sad when I noticed it. Hope u are fine. Be happy. Anything can find me. If u want support, I can give u too. Hope I won't fall asick before all the exams finish.

Now at library waiting for my exam. The coming exam is accounts. How will it be? I don't know. Just hope it will be fine. All the best and good luck to everyone who is taking accounts paper later.^^

Finally

Finally 6 hours paper finished already. Kinds of relief. English paper still ok. Listening parts I sure got wrong. Essay parts I don't know what I write lo..=.= 1st time did english paper at college. hope tomorrow will be fine. Tomorrow mine is accounts paper, some of u same as mine, some of u is biology paper. Good luck to everyone.

Physics

Just finished my physics exam in the morning. It was so tough. =.= Somemore it was so cold. I was shivering while doing exam.

EE

Wish every ausmat students good luck and all the best in evaluation exam. gambatte!

The worst night

Something happened. To all my friends, please don't sms me recently cus my handphone is not with me. If want to find me, please call my house phone or leave a comment at here. Thank you. Take care. I would like to apologise that if I didn't reply your message. I am so sorry.

Stress

Recently really stress. Exam is coming soon and I seems like not really finish studying. Pressure also.

Regret

Regret.Is it life sure will have regret?Really regret on it.

12th of June

Happy day? Boring day? Sleepy day? Today quite a happy day and sleepy day also. Had class like normal. Anyway, today english class ended very early. After that, went to have lunch then went to library for a while. Then, we went to watch Night at the Museum 2. Sorry that I cause us late for the movie. The movie was quite funny. After that, we went back to college. Very sorry that I only asked it when we walked back until halfway. Unfortunately, no ice-cream already.=.= Thank you very much for accompany me today. At night don't know why leg so pain. Really very pain until I can't even study much.

To those who want to know when is my exam. Below is the schedule for my evaluation exam:

Tuesday ( 16/6) 9am-12pm Physics
1.30pm-4.30pm English

Wednesday( 17/6) 1.30pm-4.30pm Accounts

Thursday (18/6) 9am-12pm Chemistry

Friday (19/6) 9am-12pm Maths

P/s: Don't say I didn't inform u all,ok?

11th of June

I didn't watch movie today. It had helped me decide. It was crowded with people. Never mind. I don't mind. Anyway, I bought a chocolate ice-cream. A gift for me today. Ate it while watching other people ice-skating. Really many people ice-skating today. Wonder when I have a chance. Headache again. Sleepy now. Happy birthday to eu jin before today ends. One year older than me. haha...18 years old lo...so must belanja me one meal. Remember!

10th of June

Am I happy? Now what I need the most? Today had class like normal. Had a bit headache in the morning but after that ok already. After physics class, I went to have lunch with mokky. Thank you very much for accompany me today. We had a nice chat also eventhough it was just an hour. Chemistry class lecturer didn't come but she left us some exercises to do. After I finished it, I went to Malaysian Studies class. Quite boring until I wanted to fall asleep already. Luckily it finished earlier. Very sorry that these few days I will not online at night. If online also will very late online so if got anything just leave me a comment at here. I will reply as soon as possible. Thank you. Take care.

9th of June

Yesterday didn't have a nice sleep, woke up 4 times.1.30am, 7.30am, 8.00am, 8.30am. Today had class like normal. Suddenly I was so scard of exam. Never have this experience before. Even SPM I also not so scard a week before the exam. Not to show off, that is my feeling. Now I was so lost. I really need someone helps me. Anyway, I had to study it by myself. Can't imagine what will happen when I am having the first exam. Just hope it will be fine. Quite admire those people who are having holiday now. Because of me, my family didn't go anywhere for this school holiday. Pity my brother and sister have to go tuition. I like to go anywhere for holiday cus it is really relax and I will miss the foods at there when everytime I came back. I should stop thinking about holiday cus it is still far to me. Very sorry that recently I will seldom online. Everyone take care and for those who are having holiday,enjoy your holiday.

8th of June

Before went back home, I managed to update my blog. Today quite a tiring day. First class is applics class. Had a test. Not really can finish it. Very sorry that I off my handphone. After that, physics class. I was so sleepy and headache. Luckily lecturer just gave us do exercise. After finished class, I met pei ling and her friend near the library. We chat for a while. After that, I went to chemistry class. Need to do exercise again. Luckily is all objective questions but it was quite hard. Finally I found it. Thank you very much to nicolette and hui le. Hope both of u have a happy holiday. Take care.

Hope

Hope everything will be fine.

以为

原本我以为我自己能放下它，可是原来它一直都在我心中，占据了心里的一部分。

如果

人生是不是有很多如果？如果当初我不那么勇敢，自信和冲动，或许现在就不会变得没有自信。

Back

I am back. Cut my hair. Not nice. Have a leisure and free from thinking for 2 days.

Before cut my hair, I managed to take some photo.

Can guess where I took this photo?

After cut my hair...

Very weird,right?

Understand

Today only I understand what is the feeling. I thought something had happened but it is not. Waste my worries.

4th of June

Today I shouldn't have come to college cus teacher also not teaching. One thing I was surprised is the cinema was crowded with people. It was not the entrance. It was the counter. Don't know how long it will take if want to buy a ticket. If today is the last day, I will regret. It was normal to see that the library quiet area is crowded with people because now is the exam season. Just now the computer area was very less people. Now getting more and more people but not as much as the people who are studying. This maybe is the last post that I will write. Wish my friends who having holiday now, happy holiday. Whereas friends who are having exam now or coming soon, good luck and all the best in the exam. Take care.

Clarify all those things

I said I alone on the previous post because at that time I was alone. Anyway, I was not alone all the time. Very sorry that my previous posts let u all think that I was sad. Not all the time I was sad. Do not think that if u all can be same class with me then I will be happy. 之前的伤心是因为又再回到最黑暗的时期。现在已经没事了。打开心门是需要时间的。或许没有亲身体验是不会知道那种感受。或许也是因为想太多。友情不是只要让朋友开心，而是在朋友有困难的时候伸出援手。有时欺骗比知道真相更让人受伤。我宁愿知道真相。我一定要让自己开心。

2nd of June

No online doesn't mean got exam.

1st of June

Today like normal went to college. Some of my friends, my brother and my sister start to have holiday already. so good. Still left 3 weeks only I have holiday.