29.2.12

One of the year which have 29 days on feb. A special day. Hope everything will be fine.

27.2.12

Being treated quite good today. Normally good things doesn't last long. Hope tomorrow will be the same.

真的有吗?

每个女人，骨子里都有这样一个情结：想拥有一个蓝颜知己。他不是丈夫、不是情人，而是居住在你精神领域的那个人，他不一定英俊，也不一定要比你年长，但他一定成熟、睿智、...善解人意……

他没有丈夫的霸道和忽视，没有情人的贪恋和痛苦。他有男子汉的宽怀气度，也有男子汉的柔肠侠骨。你和他探讨人生、社会，你和他畅谈理想、心情；你和他不需要面对面相濡以沫，你和他电话里常常笑语连声。你总是没完没了地倾诉，他无论什么时候总是默默地倾听你的心声。

他是除了你的另一半之外最了解你的那个人，甚至有的时候有些话，你不会跟你的另一半说、但是你会去跟他分享你的心情故事，有些跟别人不能说的事情你却能跟他说，有了这样一个蓝颜知己也就等于你多了一个心理医生，多了一本心灵日记。他像个垃圾桶，装得下你所有的坏心绪；他像个空调机，送了热风送冷风。

他是在你烦恼的时候，你最忠实的听众，你最真实的朋友。他不会因为你的喋喋不休而远离你，不会因为你的胡搅蛮缠鄙弃你。他会告诉你事情的最好解决办法，然后陪着你一起走出你阴晦的天空。而在你快乐的时候，他会淡出你的视野，静静的快乐着你的快乐！他是你生命中真正意义上的朋友！！

人活这一辈子，总会碰到几个特别的人，这类人可能只是你纯粹的精神寄托，但他不能被单纯的划归为朋友，因为你对他倾注的关爱超出了一般朋友的界限和理念，可你和他又不曾有过将之升华为爱的那种想法和具体行为，你们之间纯净得甚至连手都不曾握过。

你和他之间的那种情感，那种超乎于寻常的友情、又不能简单的归类到爱情的第四类情感，它介于友情与爱情之间，也许你将它凌驾于友情与爱情之上，也许在你心中它是一种比友情和爱情更深厚更丰富的情怀。

他，可能会因你悲伤难过轻拍你的背，可能会因你怕黑牵你的手，也可能会因你迷茫哭泣拥你入怀安抚，却，仅止于此。也许平日里的他是个浪漫多情的男人，但到了你面前却不会做出任何越格的事情，你们只是在玩笑中亲密，在玩笑中虚拟你们的情感。他是那个不太在意你的言行，也不太在意你容貌的人，是可以穿越你的外表走入你内心的人。

他不会任自己散出耀眼的爱情光芒，不会放任自己燃出炙热的爱情火焰。你静静的想他，默默地念他。你把他藏在心底，藏在你精神的家园里。他一直住在你的梦里面，遇到他，你的寂寞和软弱，便都有了寄存的地方。

多年以来，他一直是你的情感热线，在你快乐得想欢呼雀跃的时候，你会在第一时间告诉他，因为你希望他即使不在你的身边也能一起分享你的快乐和无忧。当你郁闷伤感的时候，你同样会想起他，你只想跟他一个人倾诉你的心情，你甚至希望他能陪在你身边，给你个坚实的臂弯让你靠。尽管你不需要他的任何语言任何安慰，只要他肯倾听，你的忧愁就会慢慢释放，你的笑容也会慢慢绽放开来。

也许日子久了，你对他的倾诉有了依赖性。你习惯了每天想他，也习惯了每天和他联络。有时候你的心里甚至不敢再保证自己和他是在友情的同一个水平线上。你们都怕升温的感情变质，都怕爱的成分超越友情。每每这个时候，聪明的蓝颜知己他会帮你保持冷静的头脑，他会在你感情要燃烧的时候加点冰，他不会让自己跟你一起不小心掉进爱情的深渊中，因为他知道“做朋友得一生，做情人只得一时”。

这样一位豁达开朗而不存私心的蓝颜知已，那应该是生命的一道美丽的风景线，是一种金钱难以衡量的财富，彼此之间保持距离纯真地交往，这种友谊才会变得更加长久。

有时候，当你向他诉说过后，你又常常怕属于自己的那份忧伤打扰他平静的生活，你不想让他同你一起承担痛苦，你只是热切的希望他的世界里只有阳光沐浴。你或许会因为一首怀旧的老歌、一幕恋人的牵手想起他，想起他的宽容，想起他的顽皮。你或许会因为一道似曾相识的风景、一种触动心灵的相似的容颜想起他，想起他的智慧，想起他的真诚。你更会因为午夜的星空、遥远的月亮想起他，想起他曾经带给你的欢乐，想起他带给你的无眠的美好……

也许，终其一生你们也不会产生经典的"执子之手，与子偕老"的爱情故事，但是，你会因为拥有了这样一个朋友，更加的热爱自己的生活，珍惜自己的生命。也因为有了他的存在，你的生命多了条雨后的彩虹，你的生活有了满目的苍翠。

其实，你和他注定是两条没有交集的线段、夜空中闪烁的两颗永不相撞的星，不会酝酿出爱情果实，而且，你觉得似乎谈起爱情就亵渎了你们之间这份感情，这只能是一种超乎自然的、凌驾于爱情和友情之上的纯纯的另类情感。因为拥有了这种超然的情感，你变得更加的懂得坚强的生活，含笑走过那平淡的生命。即使没有一起慢慢变老，你依然心醉，为你拥有了那些无尽的回想与幻想，回想从前，幻想未来……

你每天都在庆幸，拥有这样一位朋友，拥有这样一份感情，纯净而又热烈，真挚而又绵长。你想他念他，你在心底深处为这个人留了一个小小的空间，静静地固守着那份说不清的情感。或许你们的相识相知只有数年，可要彻底地忘记他却将花费你的一生，甚至终其一生他都会盘踞在你的内心深处，但是，你却很感激命运，感谢上苍给了你这样一个人，一个让你在这个世界上不再孤单，不再寂寞的人，即使是痛苦，也胜过麻木和苍白……

虽然，他不会永远的陪伴在你的身边；虽然，你不曾要求他为你做些什么，你却希望他会过很好，会有幸福的家庭，会有成功的事业。同时你也知道他一样希望你过的很好，他希望你能天天快乐得象个蹦跳的兔子。你们都当对方的幸福是自己的幸福。

24.2.12

So fast friday already. Bought 2 books today. Hope I can finish it before next week.

Wanted to update my blog yesterday but at the end forgot.

Was wondering what I want and those questions seems like repeating in my mind everyday. Maybe there still too many doubts.

Hope tomorrow will be a better day.

19.02.12

Didn't sleep well last night. Find it so difficult to hold it on, don't know why. Maybe I can't feel the appreciation.

Actually any present/gift u choose I also like so should be not very hard for you to choose a present/gift. But, I don't know why need me say like only can.

I thought time can help me forget everything but seems like still need a longer time. Very tired already. I not don't want to accept it, but still can't.

For those who want to find me out these few days, sorry that I can't make it.

17.02.12

Wanted to update post since few days ago but at the end didn't. Mood swings for few days, don't know why. I know I can't expect to get something I want but will envy. Recently was wondering if the situation turned it to the other way, how will it be. I admit I still like a little girl hoping for something, hoping for present, hoping for anything just like those fairytales stories. Although I know it won't happen but still will have disappointment whenever I faced some situations like this. Just wondering if you do the same things as others, how will it be.

13.02.12

Today a friend asked me about those photo which u being tagged, I really don't know how to answer. Don't know why don't feel like being asked by people about that. Maybe I just choose to forget it temporary. Everytime got people mentioned about that, I still can feel that my heart is being tear into pieces.

12.02.12

Recently maybe I was the one who don't understand why all these things happened. A tiny or small things also can make u angry. Is it something wrong with me?

I just hope that everything will be getting better. Hoping that 2012 will be a better year unlike what had happened on the 1st 2 months.

Maybe what happened was just another challenge but don't really want it anymore.

Health is getting worse and worse. Hope can recover soon.

Just realised I didn't write new post for quite some time.

What happened on this month which I could remember is 6/2/12 we argue until the next day. I was very down and couldn't understand why that would happen so sudden. on 8/2/12, I was there earlier before the movie so I went to Popular and I remembered that my cousin's bro girlfriend recommended me a book calls men are from mars, women are from venus. I flipped through the table of content 1st then I came across a subtitle called how to avoid arguement then I started to read. Got one phrase which I came across made me felt that it was so true, sometimes what we say may not be the problem but how we say it may be a problem. When not in a good mood, we may tend to say it in a unloving way.

After I read a few pages, I slowly understand that it was true that all these while is because of something or some words which said it in a unloving way which makes me feel hurtful, so I try to understand and forgive.

As February came, got one day which I very afraid of people ask how am I going to celebrate that day. The more I don't want to think about it, the more the ppl ask. I don't like those feeling of hoping something but get disappointement at the end. So, sometimes really hope nobody ask or remind me about that.

I admit I ain't good in some matters but I will try my best to hold it on.