很想说的话

Wanted to say all these things since a long time ago but at first is didn't have time to say then is don't know how to say. I like high school life doesn't mean I has all wonderful memories in my high school life. I believe in everyone's life sure got ups and downs including me. I also got unwonderful memories in my high school life. Although during high school, I looked like very happy but I not all the time also happy de. I remembered the 1st time I cried at school is when I took my pmr slip, just a few days before pmr. The second time if I not mistaken was form 5 because of ppl jealousy. I don't know how I can go through that. I also don't know how I can be so tough since form 1 until that time. I hope I also can be that now but seriously I can't. Am I change already?

I don't know whether I got change or not. But I know I am not as what they think. I knew what I am doing. They kept on ask me to stop helping but seriously I don't think I will stop. Stop just because it makes me busy and stress? I can't. I not a selfish person although some ppl said sometimes human has to be selfish. They think I can't arrange my time and immature but I am not. Maybe I not very good in arranging and not very mature but I still can. My thinking is not that childish. They not understand why I want to be like that and why I don't think of myself 1st. But I really like helping. When I saw people happy, I also felt happy. This was what I think when I were in high school, which is why I always happy during my high school. They also not understand why I don't treat myself good or better. Maybe to me, others are more important than me.

Promise is true? To me, it is just saying only. Sometimes it is fake too. Once I believe promise but it make me got the greatest hurt. Don't know why believe so many times but at the end is suffer. Asked me why don't believe? Not I don't believe but I have no reason to believe since believing for so many times but at the end is disappointment which at first I shouldn't believe.

Many downs in my life until I won't shout of pain anymore cus it is not pain but time to comfort. A small injured is just normal to me. Glad that it always be with me whenever I want. It is the biggest support whenever I felt down or lost.

Independent is hard to me and Last time I scard to be alone. Now sometimes still used to it. Actually I am the type of person that not used to be alone but I try to. However, not good to be alone as don't know who can help if anything happens. Yesterday pain like hell when I was alone. Can't stand properly and walk properly. Luckily I managed to find my friend and after that felt better.

I wish I can be different from others but I still a girl. Recently only know that girls are sensitive. But I sensitive in feeling and emotion. I need care also.

Since the day I went to see doctor, I knew it would be quite tough for me to go through it. Two nights crying in the midnight. Can't control it cus need time to calm down. Misunderstanding and repeating. Is it so hard to understand? They kept on repeat saying all those things. All also pessimistic view. Can't they just stop. Really fed up wei...

It was a nightmare which never can forget. Asked me to believe but I can't cus once it happened, the next time u think I will believe?

I like high school life cus it is simple and nothing to worry. Know many kinds of people once enter college or uni. As it is hard to find a true friend at college or uni. Some of them just hide who they are just like wearing a mask. However they are a few which quite better.

Although I like high school life but I lost it last year. It no longer in my life anymore. All the memories just like a dream, after wake up forgot wat it is. It won't be a hurt since I let it go. Although the problem still there but it won't affect me much. No regret of losing it but just don't understand why changes can be so unbelievable.

Glad to have u in my life. Although it is not easy but don't know why it always make me don't give up. Thank you very much. I will try to accept.